Advice: Smoking

QUESTION:

My friend smokes a lot and I’m really concerned for her health. I’ve been trying to get her to stop but she is addicted. I don’t want her to stop being my friend, but I also don’t want her to get sick. I’ve been thinking maybe I should start and then she would see how bad it is. Is this a bad idea? What should I do?

Signed,

Coughing in Cary

ANSWER:

Dear Coughing in Cary,

The first thing I should say is never to start smoking because somebody else is doing it! You obviously know the serious health effects that smoking can cause, which is driving your concern for your friend. The last thing you could possibly do to discourage your friend is to take up smoking. This would only make your friend think that you are ok with her habit—which you are not. Expressing your concern for your friend should not end the friendship. Telling her what to do on the other hand, would be risky.. Simply say to her that you are worried for her health, but do not make it seem like you are trying to force her to stop. Nobody likes being told what to do and it will most likely only anger her! If that doesn’t work, there probably isn’t much you can do. I’m sure your friend has heard the same health talks as you and knows what smoking could do to her. Unfortunately, she has to make this decision on her own. However, if she turns to more drugs and things get worse, you may want to consider seeking outside help or informing an advised adult who will be willing to keep the problem confidential and do what they can for your friend. Remember; don’t act angry with your friend. Be supportive and make sure they know the facts but don’t push the subject too much! Best of luck!