Rachel Poole
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Photo Editor
Second year on staff
Class of 2001

I’m a little alien from Europa, the ice-covered moon of Jupiter. Under the ice, there is a vast ocean, and under that, there are vast underground caverns full of strange and bizarre plant and animal life that are impossible to fathom. Also, on Europa there is the little colony called  Endoraze 5, my home and origination point. It is the colony of the alien race Aliantazacs (that’s as close as you get to the name in English), a race who’s home is  way far away, farther than you can even see in the stars. Anyway, now to get back to what the bleep  I’m doing here. Well, it’s quite simple really: observation… or, well, a form of it. Basically, they took me before I even knew much about my own species and plopped me on Earth to live here for a number of years. They are are coming back for me later. That’s what the basic purpose of the colonies on Europa is—observation.  So, here I am. My final report: Earthlings are crazy. 

Anyway, now that you’re thinking what the hell, someone needs professional help, my name’s Rachel, for all of you who hadn’t guessed.  I’m a senior and I’m only a little crazy.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it…haa haa haa  

(See, now isn’t that much better to read than I’m so and so from la de da and I have two adorable pets fluffy and muffin...) 

Bart Simpson upon being asked what animal he would like to be:
“The butterfly, nobody ever suspects the butterfly…”

 A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:   Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Monty Python, Monty Python and the Holy Grail  

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Unknown

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein   

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Mark Twain

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
 Rita Mae Brown

 In a mad world only the mad are sane
Akira Kurosaw